For the next three days, I will be taking what will probably be the most long, grueling, and difficult exam of my life. This is a known fact. What is still unknown is how I will feel tomorrow, how I will handle the pressure, whether I will answer correctly, whether I will pass, and how this will affect my life. My prayer is this:

God, help me to take every single law I’ve learned over the past 3 months…well, 3 years… and apply them to each of the questions properly. Help me to remember all I’ve learned and not to panic. Help me to feel healthy, alert, and focused. Help me to pass on my first try.

Help me to maintain perspective – to remember that this exam does not determine my self-worth, and that You have good plans for me regardless of my performance on this test. Help me to remember that I am blessed to know the passions and abilities You’ve given me, and to know that they don’t go out the window with this exam. Help me to be positive and not to self-pity – to remember that this is first and foremost an opportunity (one I might have again) to show that I am capable of reaching a goal that seems unattainable. That through God, all things are possible. Help me to trust and have faith no matter what the outcome is.

Thank you all so much for your prayers, encouragement, and support. I had a hard time this summer… especially hearing over and over again, “You’ll pass, you’ll pass”. Because the truth is, only God knows right now if I will pass. But the best thing for me to hear is that it doesn’t matter, because I’ve done my best up to this point. I didn’t know I could push myself this hard, against my strongest desires to take a break and relax after three rough years of law school. Laura reminded me to recall Pastor Joe’s quote: “Try your best and trust God with the rest!” If you feel so inclined over the next three days, please pray that I would do so

Three more days. Two of them spent, in part, packing and traveling. Where’s my sense of urgency? On one hand, I’m a big procrastinator, and I tend to pull out all the stops at the last minute. On the other hand.. I don’t really think I procrastinated on this one. I haven’t done enough to claim burnout, either. I just think… at this point… I’m not sure if it’ll make that much of a difference.

When I was a kid, my mom would blow-dry my wet hair after I got out of the shower. She would spent 15 minutes on it and then I would get tired of the heat. But she always said that another 5 minutes made the whole difference between me going out like a mophead and me being properly coiffed. I really hate the last 5 minutes, though.

I think I can, I think I can…

For the past few years, I sat idly by as the Pixar bandwagon rode past and people hyperventilated as they discussed the high quality of films such as Ratatouille, WALL-E, and Up. I liked a lot about Ratatouille, but one of the characters had an unfortunate resemblance to someone whom I’d rather forget. WALL-E was interesting and had some great moments, but I thought it dragged at some points and really didn’t communicate its message in a manner that would inspire average people to change their ways and live in a more responsible manner. I also thought that Up was incredibly overrated. I wish Pixar had quit while they were ahead and ended the film after the first 30 minutes; had they done so, I would have declared that the contest for Best Picture was over and said that the Academy should just cancel the Academy Awards because nothing better was going to come out in 2009.

Despite my recent frustrations with Pixar, I do have fond memories of their older work, especially the Toy Story series, Finding Nemo, and A Bug’s Life. Thus, I was quite eager to see Toy Story 3… Read the rest of this entry

I like to think that I’m a fan of living in the here-and-now and making the most of my situation, but every once in awhile, it’s nice to have something to look forward to. Well, unless that something becomes overly distracting..

Anyway, I have a huge list of things to look forward to after the bar is over! Here are some:

• Volunteering at the ACLU conference with Joe
• A trip to Atlantic City with my family
• Annual Karaoke with Joe & Sara!
• Trip to Kennywood with Mike, Steph, and Eric C.
• A Lovenest Farewell BBQ/Rock Band Night
• Celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary with a special surprise for Joe (… about a month late, but worth the wait!)
• Moving into our new home
• Rachel & Don’s Wedding
• Starting my fellowship

I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful things coming up, and you’d think it’d help me to concentrate, knowing that I’m so close to making such great memories. But it is a little distracting… my mind wanders when I’m trying to focus. I wake up every morning imagining what it will be like to wake up in our new place

I was about to put up a post about my “Huh!?!” moments; or, the times when I read a sentence in my outline books and it might as well be written in Klingon (I can’t believe that link exists, or that I found it) because I could have less of a clue what it means. Some of this stuff is rougher than I could have ever imagined. Starting off at Case as an engineering major, I took some classes that flew a plane’s height over my head. Never did I think that the same would happen in a “liberal arts/social sciences” field, but boy, was I wrong. The hardest courses have to do with using collateral on loans and the negotiability of certain types of checks and promissory notes. NOT up my alley. Anyway, the reason I did not post quotes from my books that give me the “huh?!s” is because I figured that BarBri in all it’s evil, money-grubbing glory, would sue little old me for some kind of copyright infringement.

Anyway, when I have these “huh?!” moments, I feel pretty lousy about myself, but also pretty incredulous that the hundreds of lawyers pumped out of law schools each year could possibly understand this jargon. The good news is, I won’t be practicing Secured Transactions or Commercial Paper. The bad news is, I still have to study them.

Ever lacked motivation because a task wouldn’t really have much of a bearing on your life or future? Sometimes I think, “It’s okay if I fail. I have a lot going very well in my life, and failing the bar won’t materially limit (there goes the jargon again) my prospects for future success.” So then I think, “Okay, why bother at all?” But y’know, I’ve learned long division.. memorized the Axis and Allied nations.. braved chemical equations ..  written a thesis on an obscure 1870′s feminist.. calculated derivatives … become fluent in Klingon (okay, the last one’s a lie). Anyway, some of you may use these things in your daily work lives. But I don’t. And do I complain today that I wasted time learning them? No. Funny how.. as I get older, I get more rebellious and skeptical, asking “What’s the point?” When I was a kid, I did it because I was told to. Maybe if God’s telling me I should learn, I should just.. y’know, learn.

Saved the best for last! We’re moving across town to Tremont! We found the most incredible house for only $50-100 more than what we pay now (depending on utility costs). A few amazing details and amenities:

• < 5 minutes from church, Steelyard Commons, and wonderful Tremont restaurants
• < 10 minutes from Joe’s school, downtown, West Side Market
• Right off the highway so we can still easily see our friends in Shaker Heights!
• A neighborhood that’s easy for driving
• 2 floors, including 3 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms
• An eat-in kitchen with an island
• A washer/dryer, dishwasher, and garbage disposal
• A garage and plenty of street parking for guests
• A backyard with plenty of room for gardening, planting produce, and a fence for a D-O-G!
• Blackberry Trees!
• A porch in front and a balcony off of our bedroom with a view of the Keybank Building
• 2 (nonfunctioning) Fireplaces
• Tons of storage
• Beautiful details (a big stained glass cross on the front door, 9 foot ceilings, hand-painted tiles around the fireplace, a mini salon/vanity area in the bathroom, a claw-footed tub, etc. etc.)

This place is a miracle. I told the landlord that it was truly my dream home, and it’s true. I’m not saying all this to brag (although I am glad we snagged such a deal!), but to say a few things…

#1 – We’ve been living in our wonderful Lovenest for 3 years now. While it has much charm and a fun location, it certainly hasn’t been free of issues (no washer/dryer, dishwasher, etc..) , and we’ve put up with some (somewhat hurtful) criticisms and suggestions that we move for years now. This all didn’t matter to me when we decided to move. (We decided to move based on proximity to Cleveland-Marshall, lack of traffic/ease of driving for my sake, and the ability to get a dog.) For a few years, I would let the little things get to me and I was really discouraged with our apartment. But now I know we could’ve stayed in Little Italy for years more. I had finally reached a point of contentment, and I knew that it was really our love that made our little lovenest a home. I will always remember it incredibly fondly, and I’ll always remember that we can be happy together anywhere

#2 – We want our friends and family (you!) to enjoy this home with us!! We love entertaining, and I always had reservations about our current smaller space. It seriously ate me up a little inside every time someone had to sit on the floor or had nowhere to eat or drink, or every time we stuck guests in our little guest room with only a piece of cloth for a door… We want our new place to be an entirely welcoming place where people can feel free to kick back, enjoy a game or a fun dinner, share life’s joys and struggles, play backyard games & grill, and hopefully one day play with a doggie! We still want to buy a house one day, but this house will certainly hold us over in the meantime, however long that might be!

My previous post about Bon Jovi has come to fruition! Joe and I had a great time tonight at the Bon Jovi concert! I got my first Bon Jovi CDs my freshman year of high school. I really liked “It’s My Life”, but my friend Peter informed me that “Bon Jovi’s new stuff is lame” and that I needed to hear their “old stuff”. (It was even old 10 years ago.) Being the first kid at school with a CD burner, he burned me a copy of Crossroads. A romance was born (between me and Jon Bon Jovi, of course). Ten full years later, I finally got the see them live!

Joe and I on the Lawn Next to the Drunkies

A Sloppy Cell Phone Pic of Blossom and Many Heads

Too bad my phone won’t allow me to upload my video of the solo in Wanted Dead or Alive (my token karaoke song!). I also almost took a video of the grannies dancing in front of me. Literally, grannies. JBJ brings together all walks of life. When I was a teen, my mom and I would fight over who “got” JBJ and she would argue that he was closer to her age than mine. Touche, Momma!

Joe made the Global Business Law Review at Cleveland Marshall!! I’m SO proud of him! After a rough first year of law school beating his spirit up a bit, he didn’t let it get him down in the long run… along with this journal, this fall, he’ll be Editor-In-Chief of the Gavel and will continue to work for the ACLU! God has blessed Joe with so many wonderful opportunities!

We have had some wonderful happenings in the Fell household lately, aside from the usual studying and working!

As many of you know, Joe and I were so incredibly honored to be asked to be on the Board of Directors of the Scranton Road Community Development Corporation. We’re really excited to get involved and to hopefully add a little to the city-wide dialogue about how we can revitalize our neighborhoods, one at a time. We’re also hoping that this can be a good jump-start back to the volunteering we used to enjoy together. You can learn more about the Scranton Road CDC here!

Exciting things like this make this time before the bar fly by.. although I need all the time in the world to prepare, so I wish it would slow down a bit! While I can’t believe I have only a little over 2 weeks left, I know it’ll be such a relief when it’s over. It’s been incredibly hard to discipline myself to focus on such difficult and obscure topics, especially when I doubt I’ll use that information again based on my career interests…

More news to come soon No, not that kind of news!

On our way home from the Nats game the other night, I was taken aback by the stunning manner in which the U.S. Capitol was illuminated. While I stared at this majestic building, I began thinking about all of the important work that has gone on there in the past and that will continue to go on there for years to come. My thoughts led me to legislation such as the Civil Rights Act and other pieces of legislation that improve the lives of millions of Americans. I thought about how privileged I would feel if I ever had the opportunity to serve America as a representative in some way, shape, or form as well. Read the rest of this entry